I wish I could teleport
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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