Sry I called you an 8
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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