He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
