so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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