"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
