So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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