...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
