just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
