just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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