I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
