worst night to have a conscience
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
