1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just gift wrapped bread.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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