What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Still dying that you shit outside
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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