You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize