Having a random hookup so left but love u
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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