they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
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