i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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