We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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