Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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