Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
