I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize