"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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