So drunk, too bad you don't want this
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
