just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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