my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Can you bring me the toilet please
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
How naked do you want me to be?
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