Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
