R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
