I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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