booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
