do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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