4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
