looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize