I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
