Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
