Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
