She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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