He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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