her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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