miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
