She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
