I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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