"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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