is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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