We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
