Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
