my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize