my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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