sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
