The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
