I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
