I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he thought i was a dude.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
