smell my finger.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
How's work?
Spinning.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize