I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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