The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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