What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
