id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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