if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
