I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
