I faked an abortion last night.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
