That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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