i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
