Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
