Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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