No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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