I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
