I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
