How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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