just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
