At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
