Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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