You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
