So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize