She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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