youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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