What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Are my feet made of real feet?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
