Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
These tits shall not be calmed
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize