maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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